In my opinion, being sad or concerned about one’s life should not be considered a mental illness or an absence of faith all the time. Why can’t we as adults just accept that not every day is going to be bright and cheery? I mean, think about it, we can’t pay our bills, we can’t afford gas for our cars, we can’t pay our rent, we aren’t recognized for our talents, we can’t get a job that pays enough to afford to even get there each day, we can’t make our significant others love us.
Why can’t we just be upset at the fact that we have no control over the universe in which we live, that all we can do is decide if we will live through the day with the other option being to slit our wrist and end it all? I mean, really… why can’t be just be ‘not happy’ about that. I mean really, doesn’t it all just make you want to jump up and down and do a frigg’n jig…
Okay, on that note, perhaps, feeling THAT sad should be addressed—vented—let out and reviewed. Maybe even put in another perspective. Perhaps, we should dig deep inside to a higher place and say, okay, so we can’t pay our bills today, let’s call and make some arrangements, we can’t buy gas, let’s walk, we can’t pay rent, well, the stars are lovely at night and I never really gave camping a fair shake… as for love, it STINKS anyway.
I mean, there are bright sides to everything if we just really reach in there. No, please don’t respond to this blog with a prayer or suggestion that I do so… that’s the assumption that I don’t. How rude to assume that. How rude and simple minded to feel that just because I pray I should never be sad! If I was never to have that emotion is to actually deny God the intelligence of my design. I was designed with the ability to be sad therefore… let me be that. Being sad often brings me in touch with my spirituality which in turn brings me closer to my maker so please… this isn’t a time to tell me to pray or to pray for me…
I have to add, that I really don’t like when you tell someone your problem and they say ‘just give it to God’. When they say that, why not just be real and add, ‘because I really don’t give a damn’… because that’s what they're saying.
Because how do you know that I didn’t already get on my knees and pray with bitter tears following. How do you know that I wasn’t baying towards the heavens in a beseeching fashion just moments ago. How do you know that I didn’t pray all night and this morning God sent me YOU…
Anyway… enough of that tangent…
I’m not happy today. Not as happy as I’d like to be. I’ve promised to be perky all month and I’m doing the best I can, but today, its taking a bit more than I planned to stay in a good, sweet, lovely place. Thank goodness for the ability to write, to see my gut on the page. It helps… man it helps. It helps because I don’t give myself a bunch of clichés. I just write it and read it, laugh and move on to something more…
…oh shinny.
It’s just a day! It’s 24 frigg’n hours… maybe less if I have a drink. Dang… I don’t need medication… today! I need some money, something good to eat, a trip to the coast, a hug, a kiss, a new wig…
…it’s not the end of the world that I’m not happy today and well, it’s not a crime that I don’t want to keep all this inside.
I’m just venting… as I do sometimes… because I can…and you’re reading it… because you want to.
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